Remembering Maria Tanner

"It Is What It Is"

"Do you know why I love flowers and nature? They stand for truth. They are what they are. Nothing is wasted or unnecessary — and they still manage to be beautiful."

— Maria Tanner

For many years, Maria had gravitated towards spiritual learning: reading, thinking, meditating, and studying. When times got tough, she would often sigh, grit her teeth, and say, "It is what it is."

Imagine so much wisdom in one short sentence.

Not long after Maria died, I met with Robert Valerio, Maria's social worker, one last time, just to talk. As you can imagine, I was sad, unsure, overwhelmed, tired, and feeling lost and lonely.

At the end of our conversation, I asked him, "Robert, what advice do you have for me?"

He thought for a moment, and then said, "Never pass up a chance to tell someone you love them."

(Which, I suppose, is just another way of saying, "It is what it is.")

Here, then, is what I have to say to Maria:

"You are the bravest person I have ever known.

"For better and for worse, in sickness and in health, it has been an honor to know you, to learn from you, to take care of you, and, now, to remember you.

"Louise Maria Elisabeth Tanner, I love you."

it is what it is -
which is, even in storm
center, even in deep pool 
of trouble, 
we have this:

all the tenderness 
stitched here between us;

all the ways the
"I love you"
shines through.

Poem by Zoe Branch.


June 14, 2021.	Click the picture to display a larger image.
Maria Tanner and Harley Hahn, at the
beach with dog Kajsa Anka (Sadie).
Santa Barbara.

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